{"product_id":"i-listen-just-not-today-bernese-mountain-dog-tshirt","title":"Funny Bernese Mountain Dog Gift Shirt | Sarcastic Berner Owner Tee | I Listen Just Not Today","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWe've all been there. This shirt gets it. A grumpy, unbothered Bernese Mountain Dog clutches a coffee mug with the energy of someone who has absolutely no intention of engaging — and the graphic says exactly that. \"I LISTEN\" in bold block letters up top, followed by a pixel art Berner portrait glaring into the middle distance against a dramatic retro sunset gradient, then \"JUST NOT TODAY\" below, with the kicker: \"Tomorrow isn't looking good either.\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe pixel art retro sunset style gives this shirt a uniquely cool, slightly ironic aesthetic — funny enough to make people laugh out loud, but designed well enough that you'd actually want to wear it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, this soft unisex crew neck is the perfect gift for the Berner owner with a great sense of humor — for birthdays, the holidays, or any occasion.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e👕 Product Details:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🐾 Soft unisex tee — true to size — 100% cotton\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🐾 Size up for an oversized fit\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🐾 Printed on demand \u0026amp; made just for you\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🐾 Machine washable\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🐾 Please note: white may appear off-white\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🚚 Free shipping on all USA orders!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🐾 International friends, visit our Etsy shop!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🖤🤎🤍 Love It Guarantee: At The Bernie Bears, we stand behind every single order. If you do not absolutely love your purchase as much as a Berner greeting you after you've been gone for 30 seconds, just let us know within 14 days! We will issue a 100% refund immediately. No return necessary. No leashes attached. No dramatic Berner tantrum. No fuss. That's our promise to you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🐾 PRINT NOTE: This is a flat printed graphic design. Any embroidered or textured effect is faux printed, not raised or sewn.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🐾 PRODUCTION: Please allow up to 3 business days before shipping.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🐾 CHANGES: Contact us within 4 hours of ordering for any modifications — once in production we cannot make changes.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🐾 RETURNS: If your item arrives damaged, defective, or incorrect, contact us within 14 days of delivery so we can make it right.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🐾 Don't see exactly what your Bernese heart desires? We love creating custom Berner magic — we're always happy to help before or after your order. Just visit our Contact Us page!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRemember to share your hugs — they have the power to save a life! Bear hugs from us to you!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🤖 This listing uses AI generated model(s).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDesigned using AI image generation tools under original creative direction.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; 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word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; font-family: 'Anthropic Sans', -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', sans-serif; display: flex; flex-direction: column; gap: 12px;\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; border-top: 0.8px solid rgba(31, 30, 29, 0.15);\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; background-color: #ffffff; border-top: 0.8px solid rgba(31, 30, 29, 0.15);\"\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; font-size: 13px; color: #3d3d3a; line-height: 1.6;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; display: flex; flex-direction: column; gap: 12px;\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; border-top: 0.8px solid rgba(31, 30, 29, 0.15);\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 12px 0px 0px; border-top: 0.8px solid rgba(31, 30, 29, 0.15);\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFAQ:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; font-size: 11px; color: #73726c; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 0.06em;\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhat does the graphic look like?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Pixel art Berner holding a coffee mug, deadpan expression, retro gradient sunset background, \"I LISTEN... JUST NOT TODAY... Tomorrow isn't looking good either.\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAre Bernese Mountain Dogs stubborn?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Gentle and loving, but famously independent and selectively motivated — an endearing (occasionally maddening) trait this shirt celebrates.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIs this a good funny gift?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Yes — any Berner owner will instantly recognize the truth in it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; font-size: 11px; color: #73726c; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 0.06em;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Bernie Bears","offers":[{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":58158283522351,"sku":"35887104035604170030","price":29.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":58158283555119,"sku":"24455352800029773522","price":29.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cornsilk \/ S","offer_id":58158283587887,"sku":"26442999736569283071","price":29.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orange \/ S","offer_id":58158283620655,"sku":"21563932021179040615","price":29.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":58158283653423,"sku":"25564850041404452629","price":29.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":58158283686191,"sku":"20574387406669806308","price":29.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 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